Moogles in Space
by Laer Aerlinn
Summary: Eiko and her moogles are in search of the Phoenix Alpha X galaxy. Will they find it before it's too late? R&R and find out!
1. Legendary Summon

A long time ago, in a galaxy not so far away… __

A long time ago, in a galaxy not so far away…

"Comandress Eiko, kupo, we are now out of Gaia's atmosphere and heading towards our destination of the Phoenix Alpha X galaxy," Moodon informed her.

"Great. The Phoenix summon is almost ours. So, how long will it take to get to the Phoenix whatever X place?"

"Well, according to my calculations…" Moodon punched in some numbers on his calculator, "… 500 years, kupo…"

"500 years!?"

"Yes, but that's at our current speed. I built new turbo energy boosters to get us there faster. Hit the switch, Mogki!"

Mogki pressed the red 'Do not touch unless you have a death wish' button on the control panel.

"… Uh, guys, nothing happ-!"

The ship suddenly gained a burst of speed. Eiko was pushed back into her seat by the force.

"Don't worry, Commandress, you will become adjusted to the speed in 3… 2…"

"Whoa… That's better, but how come you two didn't get pushed back?" Eiko asked.

"Uh, well it's because of, um, you know, I don't really know why," Moodon answered.

"How long is it gonna take now?"

"Well, about 15 minutes."

"15 minutes? Boy, those turbo boosters sure are effective."

"Yes, kupo, and patent pending…" Mogki added.

Gumo suddenly ran into the chamber. "Red alert! Unidentified flying object spotted!" he announced.

"A UFO!? Cool, we're gonna see some aliens!" Eiko exclaimed.

"Lowering down the telescope," Mogki said as he pulled a lever.

"Let me see!" Moodon shouted, pushing Mogki out of the way to look through the telescope.

"Hey, I wanna see, too!" Eiko yelled.

"Just wait, kupo… There they are!"

"What do they look like, kupo?" Gumo asked him.

"Three of them are wearing pointy hats and the fourth is pale, with white hair, and …strange … clothes… is that supposed to be a dress…?"

On the "alien's" ship…

"Are you sure the legendary Phoenix summon is all the way out here?" Kuja asked one of the black mages.

"KILL!"

"…Can't you say anything else?"

"Oh sure, _now_ you want me to talk…"

"So is it out here or not!?"

"Yes, it's located in the Phoenix Alpha X galaxy."

"Good. You there!"

"I do have a name, you know," the black mage answered.

"Oh and what would that be?"

"Mr. 201."

"Well Mr. 201, I hope you enjoy your one-way trip… to the afterlife!"

"Wha-!?"

Kuja used his amazing powers to annihilate Mr. 201. Only his hat remained.

"What are you staring at? Get back to work!" he ordered the black mages.

"Is he wearing a dress?" a black mage whispered.

"It looks more like a skirt to me," another whispered back.

"Mr. Kuja?" one of them spoke up.

"What is it?"  
"Another ship has been spotted and it appears to be heading in the same direction as us."

Kuja snapped his fingers. A black mage flipped a switch and a telescope appeared in front of Kuja.

"Let's see who these bumpkins are… Hmm, moogles and… a little girl… wait is that a horn on her head!? She must be a summoner." A lightbulb appeared over Kuja's head. "…Ha ha ha, I've just come up with a brilliant plan!"

Eiko's ship…

"What's he laughing at? It must've been a really funny joke," Eiko said, looking through the telescope. "Anyway guys, it's just Kuja and some black mages…"

"_Just Kuja_!?" Mogki exclaimed.

"There's no need to worry. I'll take care of him."

"With what, kupo?"

"Why, my amazing summoning powers, of coarse!"

"D-do summoning powers work out here?" Gumo questioned.

"Well, magic does…"

"How do you know that, kupo?"

"I just saw Kuja blow up a black mage…"

"Oh no! We're all going to die, kupo!" Moodon panicked.

"And I still haven't tasted the sweetness of a Kupo Nut," Mogki sighed.

"Calm down. We're not gonna die! All we have to do is to keep moving. If they want the Phoenix summon they can't get it unless they have a summoner to break the seal, and they don't! Boy, are they stupid," Eiko replied.

"Are you sure, Comandress, kupo?" Gumo inquired.

"I'm positive. Let's get to that galaxy!"

* Will Eiko and the moogles get to the Phoenix Alpha X galaxy before Kuja and his black mages? What is Kuja's brilliant plan? Will we ever find out if Kuja is wearing a dress or a skirt? Find out, next time *

What do you think of this story? Should I continue? Review and make any comments or suggestions!


	2. Where's Eiko?

"All I have to do is- Wait, I'm not going to reveal my brilliant plan yet

"All I have to do is- Wait, I'm not going to reveal my brilliant plan yet. Villains always make that mistake by explaining it too early. Now, get back to the other ship!" Kuja ordered.

Eiko's ship…

"Moodon, are we almost there?" Eiko whined.

"Yes, it's only 10 minutes away, kupo."

"Alright. What exactly am I supposed to do when we get to that galaxy?"

"You're going to have to perform the traditional Chocobo Polka."

"Chocobo polka!? What does a chocobo have to do with anything?"

"Don't ask me, kupo."

"Is that all?"

No, then you have to summon an eidolon, remember?"

"Oh yeah… Inside the ship? Isn't that a little dangerous?"

"Not really, kupo…"

"How do _you_ know that?"

"Uh, guess work, kupo…"

"Excuse me, Commandress, kupo, a black mage wants to speak with you in the airlock," Gumo informed her.

"A black mage? Okay, bring me to him."

"A-are you sure?" Mogki asked.

"Black mages are nice. Remember Vivi?"

"Yes, but these are _Kuja's_ mages, kupo."

Eiko nodded. "You're right, but I have to see what he wants. It'd be rude not to. Let's go, Gumo."

Gumo showed Eiko to the airlock where the black mage was waiting.

"I have to go help Artemicion in the engine room," he told Eiko.

"Space ships have engine rooms?" Eiko asked in surprise.

"Well this one does, kupo. I hope everything's going alright. After the Mognet episode he hasn't been acting like himself," he answered as he ran towards the engine room.

"So Mr. Mage, what do you want?"

"Um, Mr. Kuja would like to meet with you."

"What? No way! I'm staying right here."

"I'm sorry. I have no choice. If you don't come with me, he'll take away my allowance."

"You guys get paid?"

"Yes, but it isn't worth it in the end."

The black mage created a portal that would take them to Kuja's ship. He then used some of his sleep magic on Eiko and jumped into the hole with her in his arms.

Kuja's ship…

"Wha-? Where am I?" Eiko asked as she sat up. She felt like she had been asleep for three days, but it had only been three minutes.

"You are on my ship," Kuja answered.

"Oh, hey Kuja."

"What? You are not afraid me?"

"No… Should I be?"

"Yes! Everyone is to fear the mighty Kuja of Terra!"

"Well, …_I'm_ not…"

"You will be after I tell you my brilliant plan."

"Can I ask you something first?"

"Fine."

"Are you wearing a dress or a skirt?"

"How dare you! …Actually _I'm_ not quite sure…"

Eiko's ship…

"Where's the Commandress, kupo?" Mogki asked.

"She hasn't been gone that long," Moodon answered.

"Hey guys!" a voice called.

"Hmm? Stilzkin, kupo?" Mogki questioned.

"Yup, it's me," he said as he entered the room.

"Stilzkin, how did you get out here, kupo?"

"You know me, my travels take me everywhere. Anyway, I have another ripoff-I mean _value_ deal for you. So, where's Eiko?"

"She's supposed to be in the airlock talking with a black mage," Moodon confessed.

"A black mage!? That's not good… We better see if she's still there."

The three moogles rushed to the ship's airlock.

"Oh no, Eiko's gone, kupo," Mogki exclaimed.

"But she left us a piece of paper. How thoughtful," Moodon said as he picked it up.

"That's not _just_ a piece of paper," Stilzkin told him, "it's also … a ransom note! Look on the back!"

Moodon flipped the paper over. "Boiled owl, seasoned oglop, fried rootbeans… What kind of ransom is this, kupo?"

"… I guess it's not a ransom note… It's a grocery list… But now we have to save Eiko!"

"How do you know she's in trouble?"

"Kuja and his black mages spell trouble."

"I didn't know that's how you spell trouble…"

"… …Let's just save Eiko!"

* Will the moogles ever save Eiko? Is Kuja ever going to reveal his brilliant plan? Stay tuned and next time all these questions and more will be answered *

Thanks to Nicole Sabatti for suggesting Stilzkin be in the story. Keep reading for the third and final chapter.


	3. Giant Chocobo

Kuja's ship…

Kuja's ship…

"…And that's my brilliant plan!" Kuja boasted.

"You'll never get away with it!" Eiko shouted.

"Watch me. The Phoenix summon will be mine! Mwahahahaha!"

"…That's one screwed-up laugh…"

"Thank you. I've spent months perfecting it to get just the right amount of ha ha's."

"M-mr. Kuja?" a black mage asked.

"What!?"

"Three… moogles in spacesuits… are flying towards our ship."

"Really? Well, get rid of them."

"No, you can't! They're my friends!" Eiko protested.

"That's too bad little girl. Black mage, do whatever you have to to get rid of them."

"Yes Mr. Kuja," the mage answered. He left the room.

"It's time for my pedicure. Stay here and don't move," Kuja ordered Eiko as he left the room.

"I have to stop them from hurting the moogles. But… how do I get out of here!?"

The black mage was now in the control room. 

"What did he say?" another black mage asked.

"He said to get rid of them."  
"Alright." The mage looked out the window. "Hey, where did they go?"

Little did the black mages know that the moogles had found a way onto the ship…

"We're finally on the ship, kupo," Mogki said. "But where's Eiko?"

"We have to find her before we get to the galaxy and we only have 3 minutes!" Moodon exclaimed.

"Let's go!" Stilzkin yelled. "Charge!"

All three moogles began to run in different directions.

"Wait!" Mogki shouted.

"What?" Moodon and Stilzkin asked in unison.

"Look over there!"

Mogki was pointing at a map of the ship. A red 'You are here' arrow showed that they were in the bathroom.

"Funny. I never noticed the toilet over there, kupo," Moodon said.

"This must be where Eiko is," Mogki pointed to the 'Room where we keep annoying little brats'.

"Alright, let's go!" Stilzkin yelled.

In the room where Eiko is…

"Alone for awhile, I've been sitting in this room,

For traces of the secret to escape and join my friends."

"Eiko!" a voice called.

"Huh? Who's there? Grandpa, is that you?"

"No stupid. It's me!" Stilzkin said.

"Stilzkin? Mogki? Moodon? How did you guys get here?"

"We, uh, don't really know _how_ we got on this ship," Mogki confessed.

"Well… untie me now!" Eiko ordered.

"Yes ma'am, kupo."

The three moogles untied the ropes around Eiko.

"Let's get of this crazy ship!" she suggested.

They ran out of the room to the hallway.

"Where do we go now?" she asked.

"Just look at the map over there," Stilzkin said.

"Okay. …This way."

Eiko, Stilzkin, Mogki, and Moodon found the way off Kuja's ship and onto their own.

Meanwhile, Kuja had just returned from his pedicure…

"This hot pink nailpolish is definitely my color. Oh little girl, it's time," he called. He entered the room. "We have reach- Hey where did she go!?"

"Mr. Kuja?" a black mage asked.

"What? And where is the girl?"

"Uh, you have to come to the control room right away and I don't know."

"My plan is ruined…" Kuja muttered as he and the black mage walked towards the control room.

"What the-! What is that!?"

A giant chocobo was sitting in the captain's chair.

"You vant the Phoenix summon? Perform za Chocobo Polka ya!" it said.

"Chocobo… Polka?" Kuja asked weakly.

"Ya."

"I thought you only had to summon an eidolon…?"

"No, you must also perform polka ya!"

"Uh,"

Both black mages pull out accordions.

"Alright. Mages, are you ready?"

So Kuja was forced to perform the Chocobo Polka, but he did not get the Phoenix summon because he could not summon an eidolon. Hey, what happened to Eiko and the moogles?

Eiko's ship…

"I'm glad we turned around. Nothing is worth all that," Eiko announced.

"Eiko?" Stilzkin spoke up.

"Yeah? What is it?"

"Here." Stilzkin handed her a Phoenix Pinion.

"What's this?"

"It will summon Phoenix for you."

"Are you telling me we came all this way for nothing when I could've stayed on Gaia and got one of these!?"

"…Yeah…"

"Nooooo!!"

And so ends the story of the moogles in space.

* Hey, what'd ya think? Review please! * 


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